donderdag 18 maart 2010

First lovely spring day in 2010

Hello everybody,

Here am I again. Sitting in the sun with a nice breeze. Chance is playing in the water and Cyn is sitting next to me, busy with her phone. Normally I would be in school today but that will not be happening for a while. I have to take a lot of rest and time for myself since the doctor told me to take it easy because I have a burn out. I have been doing a lot of things the last few months and it all was to much. All the work, school, internship and the stuff at home. It all is to much for me so now I have to enjoy. Take a lot of rest and find myself again. Especially that last thing is important. I still feel not fine at all and there will be a lot of things I have to change before it all is right again.

But now I am enjoying a lovely afternoon with Cyn and Chance, my 2 girls. Chance really loves the water and it dragging a lot of things into the water to play with. It's such a funny dog.

At home I am busy with my computer... finally. It's been so slow the last few months that I did not use it for a while. Now I deleted a lot of things. Hopefully it will be a little faster. When not I am afraid that maybe I have to replace it. That would be very bad because not 3 years ago Cyn upgraded my computer so it was faster. It was nice to have that computer back then. Now I am using my laptop more that my computer but I would love to play some games with it again.

Cyn is now playing with Chance. So lovely. I think we will be walking back soon. And there is still so much to tell so I think I will be writing more when I get home.



Later this day. I am at home now. We just had dinner (Shoarma) and I am sitting on the couch with a beer and watching Grey’s Anatomy. After our walk with Chance Cyn and I did some grocery shopping. Cyn took a four-pack of honey beer for me and I love it (That’s what I am drinking right now). Chance is laying on the couch. Enjoying her evening of rest. My head is aching and spinning and I do not know why. I feel angry but I don’t know why. I felt like this while we were walking and back then I also did not know why. Why am I angry. Why am I feeling this. I feel like hitting something very hard. I just had a phone call from Marc from school. He is the person who to turn to for you internship and since I am sick at home with my burn out. He wanted to make an appointment so we could have a talk together with Arjen from my internship. They want to have a look at the situation and they want to find a solution. I really don’t feel like having a conversation about this all AGAIN. I have been talking to people about it a lot. They want to know what’s wrong, why it’s happening and how to solve it. Like it’s a situation you can solve in a day. I just want to feel rested, to smile again, have fun and feel good. And now… now I had my phone call with Marc, now I feel that I can start with feeling better. I know it’s ridiculous that my rest depends on a phone call from Marc but deep inside I will be dealing with it, even when I don’t want to. And he is such an ass. He promised to call me on Monday and it’s now Thursday and he called. That’s only 3 days later then promised. I really hope he will be there next Wednesday on the appointment because I heard from my classmates that sometimes he does not show up on an appointment. Ow I hate my mind. I feel like hitting something again.

Something nice now. Yesterday evening we went to the cinema. To Alice in Wonderland 3D. it really is a wonderful movie and afterwards we had our own after party at our place with some beers/wine and another movie. Our neighbor joined us to the cinema and the after party. We had a great time. He also had dinner at our place and Cyn made something new called: “Hollands pannetje”. It tasted really good and I think we have to fight for the extra meal she made. haha.

I will post this now. I don’t feel like typing a blog anymore so I think I have to start a new blog another time very soon. I am sorry people but I am not feeling ok atm and I need some time for myself to figure some things out.

Have a nice evening you all!

zaterdag 17 oktober 2009

Schoolwork and stuff

Hello people,

It’s been a long, long time ago since my last post. I know but I have been very busy lately with school and work. When I am home I am doing my homework and when I am not doing my homework I am going to work at the MacDonalds Cuijk or I am going to school.

McDonalds Logo

I am having a lot of fun working at the MacDonalds with alot of nice colleague’s. Making friends at the Mac is going fast. Everybody is nice and making jokes. I am mostly working in the evening on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

School is giving me a hard time. Especially Eric who gives me MOV. He is giving alot of homework and I cannot keep up with it. But I understand what I am doing. I am now working, well… was working, on my homework of last Thursday and soon I will start my homework for next Thursday. I am happy he is not at school the 5th of November so I can finish my homework in the autumn break. Marc is still working on our internship. So I am also waiting for that. Hopefully it’s done soon so I can start my internship.

Cyn is working at her new job now and is enjoying it. I am happy she likes her new work. Within a few months she is running her own department at the store in Erp. I know she can do it. I am happy for you sweetheart.

I won with the pin tournament at the MacDonalds so now I am the one who may choose somebody from the kitchencrew who may join me with the bowltournament. To bad Kim G or Ben cannot join me. They are the 2 I am talking too most of the time. Now I choose Anoek to join me. I believe Annemieke is joining us from the management. Hope we are having a great time the 26th and… of course… that we will win. Cyn gave me alot of tips over the time. She learned me alot about bowling and now I can do it a lot better than I used to.

I think I will be doing my homework now because otherwise I can’t finish it today. Tonight is my night off from schoolwork so I want to finish this soon.



vrijdag 18 september 2009

There's a song in my head

Was listening to this at school while I was working on the computer and now it's stuck in my head.

You don't know by Milow FT. Sarah Bettens

woensdag 9 september 2009

My life back

Hello people.

FINALLY... I have my life back. Everything is back into place. Well... Almost. I am almost there.

Last Monday I had my second interview for the job at the McDonalds. And there they told me I got the job. I will get a contract for a min. of 3 hours a week for 4 months. After that I will get a contract of a year when they are happy with my work. So that already rocked my world. i was so damn happy with that news.

That Tuesday I got a phonecall from ROC-nijmegen. They wanted to make an appointment for an intake interview. We planned it for today around 1pm. So today I went to the school for the interview and... what do you think. The interview did not last more than 5 minutes and after the interview they told mee I could start my education and not in the first year. No way... I will start in the second year. They wanted me to start in the third year but there are no students in the third year so that's why I am starting in the second year. I don't care. It gives me time to get back to some things I maybe do not remember anymore.

But as you understand I am totally happy now. I am going to school and I have a job and on top of all the: Cyn is also having a new job. Everything will be fine again. I have my life back.

Tomorrow I have my first day and then I will receive my school schedule. I think the lessons will start at Monday which gives me a little time to order the schoolbooks I am going to need. They will email me the list with schoolbooks so I am now waiting for that.

That's it for now people.
Drink something for me!!



woensdag 2 september 2009


Ow I hate this. I am reallly annoyed by everything at the moment. Why on earth isn't anything going right here.

First of all: How hard is it for ANY venture to hire me. I need a job and after 46 vacancies there is still nothing. Most ventures do not even bother to reply. They don´t care. The others just hire somebody else or give the job to somebody intern. It´s so not fair. Now I am waiting for 26 verntures to reply in the last month. I only had 1 interview. 1!!!!!! out of 26!!!! it´s absurd.

Second of all: I signed in for a schoolperiod of 4 years and even they are not replying to me. The people of the student department are in the school since the 1st of September. They are looking into the last forms now and I will hear something of them within 2 weeks. When I don't hear anything I have to call again. The best thing of all is that the school will start next Monday. I hate it to miss some schooldays but I have no choice. I don't even know if I can go to school again.......

Third of all: Money. Where the hell am I going to get the money to live. No job. And because I am not hearing a thing from school I don't know to look for a partime or a fulltime job. I don't know if I need to sign in for the "bijstand" as we call it here in the Netherlands. I also cannot sign in for "StuFi" (the organisation "IB-groep" "lent" students money to pay there study. The money they lent is StuFi) I just have to wait with nothing.

I really hate this all. Everybody is having jobs and new jobs and is earning money and me.... I have to do everything with nothing and nothing at all. It's not that I want to complain or want that people feel sorry for me but that is sure one thing I do not want. I just want to scream this all out and have it out of my system. It's making my insane and angry and annoyed and shall I carry on with the list?

I sometimes wish I could fall asleep and not wake up for a long, long time. Or wake up and everything is fine again. I just HATE this life I am living now. I am not good for anything, ow wait, I am good for the groccery shopping and the cleaning.....

And I think... In the end. The biggest thing I am feeling is fear.. Fear for what is going to come next.

Welcome to my life - Simple Plan

vrijdag 14 augustus 2009

Happy and tears

Hello everybody,

Yesterday I got the surpise of my life. Yesterday afternoon Cyn's parents would be back from vacation and that morning Cyn and I headed for their home to bring their little pigheaded tekkle back. He was happy to be at home again. Cyn and I headed for the mall in Dukenburg because I still had problems with my cellphone and Cyn did still not have answer on her question. After that we bought ourselfs something to eat and looked around a bit. Around noon we headed back to her parent's place to await their arrival. We read some more and waited. They arrived around 1pm. We helped to unload the car and not much later Cyn was gone with her mom. The had to do something but I really had not any idea what. But it was okay. I would wait here with the book I started reading: John Bartel Jr. It's a book Gert-Jan gave me to read. I really like it. Cyn and her mom were away for almost 2 hours. When they got back they were still reading. I said: hey sweety but I did not look up. Until I got something on my lap. It was a big box. When I looked at it I saw that it was a laptop. When Gerry entered the room she had a laptop backpack. I was in tears. They bought me a new laptop, a laptop backpack and a USB mouse. And all because I was going back to school (when they let me) and need to study alot. Cyn told me I should be working with this computer at least 4 years. I just could not stop thanking them. It's so sweet. It's an Acer Aspire 7735ZG. 17,3" HD+ LED LCD, 4GB DDR3 Memory, 320GB HDD. I am really, really, REALLY happy with it and I still don't know what to say.

Thank you so very much Cyn and Ger. I am very happy with it and I will make you proud with it.



dinsdag 11 augustus 2009

What did she do.......

O, my god!!!

Too bad I had to miss the concert. This is their new number if this isn´t right.